i can dream the rest away.

dear readers,

feelings of lightheadedness and emptiness without emptiness
like my insisdes have been hollowed out and i have not been left with any shred of me that is interesting
like i am this empty shell, void of emotion
smiles plastered all over porcelain faces
and i am bored with everything.

i want to drive to the edge of the earth
and get lost in my own skin
and swim through all the trees
and climb through the oceans
i cant concentrate on a single thought
like my mind is racing
and it can't be stopped
and there's nothing
to even focus on, at all.

i just want to feel something
that isn't what i've already felt
i want to escape and run away
so kidnap me, please
and take me far from the places i've already been
and the person i've grown out of
leaving this shell of empty skin
and show me something i've never seen
and feelings i've never felt
and experiences i couldn't imagine.

i'm trapped under the covers on an uncomfortable mattress
kicking off the blankets that suffocate me, in frustration
i am so fucking god damn sleepless
someone pump my veins full of caffeine so that i stay that way
i fall in love with everything that is fucked up
there's so much beauty in sadness
and we tend to look so much closer at everything
and you're so much more grounded
and down to earth
and motherfucking honest with yourself and everyone
who surrounds you.

beauty in the breakdown.